Does the Perfect Laptop Bag Exist?

The quest for the perfect laptop bag continues. I've never been one to carry the traditional laptop bag marketed as such because, well, they are just plain old ugly! Most seem to place function over fashion and the ones that look great tend to fall apart. If I could design the perfect vessel to carry my "office-in-a-bag" it would have the following characteristics:

Functional
I consider a laptop bag functional if it has several, separate compartments of different sizes and closures for me to store my myriad of work and personal items. There's nothing more I hate than digging through my bag to find my wallet or god forbid my iPhone slides down to the bottom of my bag. That's a good panicked 3-minutes of rummaging.

Durable
I'm willing to drop a nice penny on a good bag but it's got to last. Since I carry a lot of stuff with me all day, my bag can get pretty heavy. My laptop and accompanying accessories alone weigh over 5 lbs! I need a bag that is structurally-sound and can withstand that kind of weight. In the past I've definitely worn out several bags in a short amount of time.. leaving handles broken and threads coming loose.

Stylishly Classic
Most laptop bags that are marketed for women are bulky and unattractive. I prefer bags that are made of real leather with a nicely lined interior, have simple, clean lines & contours and classic accents.
 
Comfortable
I need a bag that not only looks great but also feels good to carry around. I like my shoulders and would appreciate a bag that didn't totally wear them down. And cross-body/messenger-style bags are not really my thing. The crossbody strap kind of gets in the way of my outfit.

Ok, so maybe I'm asking for too much? Can't a girl have it all??

Coach has "business bags" marketed for both men and women but I honestly think the male bags are sexier (sorry, I'm not a monogram fan). I'm considering the New Crosby Leather Commuter or the New Crosby Leather Flap Business Brief.

 

A new player in the game, Alesya, claims to be the holy grail in chic laptop bags for women. And for $265, almost 50% less than the Coach bags, I'm definitely eying this as my next purchase. I just wish they came in black.

Have any brands that you love? Please share!